Insidious 2 – a marvellous plot for the next Scary Movie

I couldn’t control laughing, audience in the theatre thought I had gone nuts, I was rolling in seat G11, 11:15 pm show there were few pussies in the last row. Am talking about Insidious Chapter 2, I found chapter 1 insulting for some reason the idea was too casual and not at all spooky.

Insidious2

When I read a 4×4 ad in my morning daily about certain movie being shown in city by the makers of ‘The Conjuring’ Instead of the movie name I was looking for the show timings. Such was the impact of Conjuring I didn’t even have to look for the trailers…imagine!!. So the late night show and minimum people in theatre and I was carefully placed such that no one is seated next to me within 9 yards perimeter as I must really concentrate while watching a horror movie.

Credits role, names upsurge and we learn it’s an Oren Peli production (Paranormal Activity) hence I deduced the lead character would be camera …then was the name James Wan and the rest of the names didn’t matter.

But the movie was such a horsecrap! I don’t even want to talk about story but since you are deserving to know , there is this kid who dates a black dress woman in sleep and goes places and then this woman bitchslaps this kids mom after she gets busted, and his mom goes like, oh this house is haunted ! then she cries and all . Then kid’s granny comes wearing red lipstick with two dumb dudes playing CIA and a stupid old Hag who has a ghost girlfriend and can juggle with dices to find answers out of ghosts. I think he is a con coz each dice (cube) has 6 faces which means 6 alphabets in a dice, so to fit all the alphabets we need 26/6 = 4.333333 dices which he didn’t have, also if you repeat alphabets to make the dices even, you are fiddling with probability theory and favouring few alphabets. There is no fair way to this dice theory. But anyway this black dress women runs around yelling,” how dare you!” and then she slaps like a ninja, she makes her kid dress like a girl and asks him, ‘how dare you!’ then she bitchslaps the kid. In the end she gets hammered and everyone is happy.

The movie was hilarious, same old props and shocks, door opening on its own; someone in the closet, there has to be a child no matter what. What’s with the comedy and fun element, as horror film you are not allowed to let the audience settle even for a second. It has to be scary all the time. Never before I came across a horror movie with funny moments unless it was scary movie. And I am sick of the camera angles. I wish Oren pelli would get haunted in real. James wan announced retirement from horror genre which is a good thing. What worked in conjuring was a brilliant trailer that pulled the crowds. In India it was a major success, we Indians find it very amusing. Even while watching Insidious there were shocking scenes that made you jump out of the seat, all the people in the audiences jumped and then laughed collectively, somewhere they subconsciously know all this Haunting happens only in America.

It’s high time they come out of haunted house sagas, I am getting bored of it. While watching the movie I was simultaneously imagining what scary movie franchise would be doing to this frame by frame.

I wouldn’t recommend Insidious 2 or for that matter 1 either. Go if you wanna who am I to stop 😉

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6 thoughts on “Insidious 2 – a marvellous plot for the next Scary Movie

  1. Had some jumps here and there, but overall, a pretty tame horror movie that flirted with the idea of scaring off our shorts, but instead, just settled with being mildly scary. Good review.

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  2. You didn’t think I’d make this list without a Takeshi Miike film right? Well, Audition has to be one of the most ****ed up movies ever made, and if you can get through the absurdity of it, it’s a damn good horror flick as well.

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  3. I’m going to go on record and say I am finished with the horror genre. “Conjuring” and “Insidious 2″ are my two last scary movie… I spent the last ten years of my life doing this. It’s time for a change, for goodness sake!

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  4. His latest film, The Conjuring, may be the scariest yet. It harkens back to the horror movies of the past, with its suspenseful storytelling and terrifying visuals.

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